you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
