8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
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