The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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