You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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