I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
