we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
