And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
