Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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