8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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