Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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