apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
i will never coherently bang her
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
