Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
why do cheetos always look like penises
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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