No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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