God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
