So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
