She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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