I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
