My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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