Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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