; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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