Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
