So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
