I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
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By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
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I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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