My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
