Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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