You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
