Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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