if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
