Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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