Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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