Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
