we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
