She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
