i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
