She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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