im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
