found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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