Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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