What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
