69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
