Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize