listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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