Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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