but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
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Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
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Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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