Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
operation have a gay friend backfired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Randomize