I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
