They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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