I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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