i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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