A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
