Life is so much better after having sex.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
