i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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