I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
