please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
