We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
