ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize