Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
