i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Randomize
