He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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