she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
