are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
