we have officially lost it.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
