She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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