Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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