This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
