Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
