ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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