oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
