actually, I'm a sock model
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
