wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
