my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
