i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
