Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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